Brama
I am a lovelorn heart
Screaming from mountains
The remainder of
An angry poem I wrote yesterday,
And shaking you to wake you
To make you
See that I cry helplessly
While I sit across you
Stirring my coffee in circles
Like the circles in my mind
With my heart spread out
Like a book across my face
Reading out tales of desperation
And you sit across me
Stirring your coffee in circles
Like circles of your charm
With the face of every ordinary day
Like you can never feel my love
Plastered onto you
You see
There is vacuum between us
And
All I ever say is lost
In
All that never reaches you
This way I realise
The vast expanses of nothing
That stretch across continents
Are nothing compared to those
That stretch between things
You feel for me.
I don’t make you want to anymore
Love me like you did
You wrote 7 pages about it yesterday
Today I sensed it
Feed me kisses for breakfast
Give attention like honey in my oats
Just this once, babe
Come delude me
Come weather me
Like the air does
my chipping window sill
As a day of confinement does
the over-thinker
Be the heave in my chest
like after a run to the top of the hill.
Come affect me
Like mainlining ecstasy
an hour after sobbing in ma’s lap
As the thought of missing you
by inches by minutes by carelessness
Come affect me
Like bags under my eyes
mourning over the remains of what I used to be
Like the visual from a black&white classic
tucked between my brain folds as a child
of a man ill treating his woman
Come affect me
Like the coffee stains
on a scarf you never wanted soiled
Like the weight of me
on my mother’s legs
Swallow me in parts, little then whole
like an eclipse does the Earth.
He had a habit
Of slithering into bed
Like a drop of water
I forgot to wipe after shower
That slides down my back
So smooth
So gentle
Slow at first, then all over
Following a specific route
On the map of my body
From Brazil to Vienna to Tokyo
I recognized it all
And each time he began
Making love to me
He’d say, ‘I want you so bad’
So babe you,
You slither in differently
Not like a drop
More like a leaf blowing in the wind
Touch me in routes, in places I’ve never visited before
Don’t say you want me so bad
Because that is what he said
And much to my annoyance
I remember everything he said
Everything he did
Work your magic like the first time, you
Hold me new
Tell me new
Create me new